Saturday, June 30, 2007

Two assholes end their poor excuses for lives 

Driving a fiery Jeep Cherokee into an airport sure does seem like the poorman's pussy way of using transport vehicles as terrorist weapons. A day after they defused a couple bombs in London, now this. I'm just left here wishing those cunt zealots would kill themselves in privacy. You know, for politeness' sake.


Thursday, June 28, 2007

I do a lot of cocaine! 

HOLY SHIT! It's like an assault on my comedy balls!


You think she's single? 

I haven't been this proud of the news since it was actually, well, the news. We should all hold Mika up as a national hero. Give her a raise, damn it! This clip represents the one small beacon of hope that we, as a country, are not completely inane and vapid. Such a strange thought, eh? Love it.


New Fucking Die Hard 

Let me tell you a couple three things about Live Free or Die Hard:

1. It rules.
2. Fuck you, it rules.

I was with it pretty much right from the start. Does it get more and more brainless and contrived the further it goes? Sure. Is it exactly what you wanted out of this experience (Bruce Willis as John McClane killing bad guys in the most awesome ways possible)? Hell yes.

Seriously, this movie is so fun that you forget it's rated PG-13. All I wanted was my John McClane fix and I got that in spades. Fun times. And for all those who harbor irrational hatred, don't worry, Kevin Smith is only in it for about ten minutes.


Thursday, June 14, 2007

The real evil 

Really? The Israelis are evil? They oppose peace? Really? Are you sure about that?

Bye bye, Palestinian government. Hello, Hate-mongers.


Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Because Father's Day is fast approaching 

Think about your dad. What's your dad like? Wanna meet that dad.

One last thing about The Sopranos finale that I feel must be said and then I'm done with it. While it has a shit-ton of problems, it was about 300x better than the finale to Deadwood. Now that was a disappointment.


Monday, June 11, 2007

Okay, okay, fade to black already 

Yeah, so, anyone ever heard of this The Sopranos show? What's that all about?

I guess it takes an event like that to get me typing away on this thing, these days, and here I am. Typing away. I'll say right upfront that there are several troubling problems with the plotting of the finale. From the feeling of it all being rushed, to how quick and easy it was for Butchy to abandon Phil, to Carlo -- FUCKING CARLO?!? Seriously?! That was the big slap, in my opinion. However, I think the final scene is pretty damn excellent. I know I'm in the minority on that one and I'm fine with that, but having watched the finale twice, now, the second viewing (not just of this scene, but of the entire episode as a whole) is much more satisfying.

To anyone raging that this show didn't end with the two bosses emptying boxes of bullets into each other, I gotta say, you've been watching the wrong show. For years. And you should know better, too. Shame on you. The Sopranos ended in the same fashion it has been executed since it's inception. I cannot say I was surprised by that at all. Not even a tiny bit. Some of the story beats, yes, but not the overall arc of 'these are just people living out their lives, just because the tv show is ending doesn't mean things will be wrapped up with a bow.'

Great moments in this ep include:
- Tony and Junior's final scene
- Tony falling right into rhythm with AJ's therapist
- Paulie vs Cat (I swear to God this had better be in the works at HBO as we speak. This coupled with the spinoff of Finn's California Dentistry Adventures will set the world on fire)
- The last scene. Oh yes, you read correctly. I, too, was one of the many who yelled, "What the hell?!" after the first time I saw the screen go black. But hot damn if you weren't tense as a motherfucker watching that thing. Subsequent viewing really crystalizes what you already knew the first time around: That the Sopranos were like any other modern nuclear family, except that Tony will go the rest of his days being the most paranoid fuck on the face of the planet. For the first time, in this last scene, you finally understand what it is to walk in his shoes. Given this obvious intent, I don't for a second subscribe to the theory that Tony got popped during the blackout -- an interpretation that flies in the face of everything David Chase stands for.

Love him or hate him, you have to give Chase credit. People will be talking about this series finale forever. You can't say the same about Friends, all but forgotten the next day.


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