Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The noms 

I worked a 15-hour day, yesterday. Of course I didn't know the Oscar noms were coming out this morning! Just glanced at the list and all I can really say is this: I hope that either The Departed or Little Miss Sunshine win for best picture. Also, thumbs up to Borat getting a screenplay nod and Paul Greengrass getting a directing nod. I'll be okay with Scorsese not winning (again) only if it goes to Greengrass.


Sunday, January 21, 2007

Briefest unemployment ever 

My last day of work was on Friday. Time to chill and recuperate before flying overseas, right? No, not really. After I left the office at 5:30, I went down to the Universal lot (oooh, special), interviewed for a show that's in crisis, and started that night. The beauty of it all? It takes me right up until I step on the plane to go to SA. I must be riding some good karma or something because this is ridiculous. And yes, I do plan on riding "The Mummy" during my lunch break. I'd be foolish not to, right? Universal. More like POOniversal. Or perhaps even POONiversal. Yeah.

Okay, now to continue watching football while studying the show bible. Ah, Sundays.


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Movies. Of. The. Year. 

A rather drab year, if we're speaking purely in general terms. That being said, I haven't seen either of the Golden Globe best picture winners (Babel or Dreamgirls). They never looked all that interesting to me and I've only heard anywhere from middling to terrible reviews from people whose opinion I normally trust. I do like Innaritu (spelling be damned), though, so maybe I'll check out Babel. I don't know.

I'd very much still like to see The Last King of Scotland, For Your Consideration and Pan's Labrynth.

While 2006 was lame, based on what I saw, these were some gems:

1. United 93 - Movie of the year without question. Probably the best docu-drama ever. I haven't seen a movie so tense and affecting in ages. I'll see anything that Paul Greengrass does from here on out. A landmark film that everyone should see when they're ready.

That's my clear #1. The rest of the best, in no particular order:

The Departed - It rocks. That's all there is to it, it fucking rocks.

Thank You For Smoking - Aaron Eckhart's devilish charm carries this hilarious movie. A lot of people were turned off by it's amorality, but I loved it.

Casino Royale - I don't care if the third act is a shambles, the first two acts are some of the best I've seen, not only from Bond films, but from any action movies. Period. Love this reinvention of the character. Best Bond around.

Little Miss Sunshine - Truly funny, poignant, and the best ensemble cast this year. I know that telling someone "it's all worth it for the ending" can raise expectations and even spoil a film for most, but I'm telling you, the grand finale not only saves this movie, it makes it great.

Brick - Once you embrace the dialogue and just accept that it's happening in a high school, it's all gravy. Great noir film.

Borat - Funniest movie in years. Yeah, fine, I prefer Ali G, too. But the Ali G movie was a failure, wasn't it? And we're not talking about Ali G, are we?

The Heart of the Game - The best movie that no one has heard of. Excellent documentary about a high school girls basketball team. Netflix it.

Special mentions:

The Queen - Helen Mirren, as has been documented ad nauseum, gives the performance of the year, but this movie is so well-directed. Frears elevates this film from being pretty good to rock solid. I guess if I was forced to make a top ten list, this would creep in somewhere on the back end.

Crank - Is it stupid? Yes. Unquestionably. Is it the best time I've had at the movies this year? In a mind-blowing, I-can't-believe-this-is-actually-a-movie sort of way, yeah. I'd say it's up there behind Borat and Bond.

Wordplay - Totally enjoyable. Light and fluffy.

Worst movies of the year:
The Black Dahlia - I'll have no more of anyone trying to convince me that Brian DePalma is worth a damn. His last four movies are amongst the worst ever.

Art School Confidential - Awful in a way that truly offends.

X3 - Not actually that bad when held up to the above two, but special points for destroying an otherwise solid franchise in the bat of an eye. It's an impressive feat when I've gone from loving the hell out of X2 to not actually caring when Professor X is get murdered in the next film. Oh, did I spoil it for you?

Special Movie of the 21st Century Award:
Silent Hill - Wow. Just... wow. And after such a good trailer, too. I can't believe my hopes were up for this one. This isn't an award that I hand out every year, either. In fact, it's only the second (Dreamcatcher '03) movie of the 21st Century. It defies qualitative logic in the face of being overwhelmingly awful.

But where's Lady In The Water on this list? Well, the thing with that movie is that while it's bad and arrogant to the extreme and terrible storytelling and... you know what? Yeah, it should be on the worst of. I remember watching it, though, and thinking that it was more silly and amateurish than flat out terrible. Madame Narf.


Monday, January 15, 2007

HBO is funny again 

Count me among those very pleased about the return of Extras. Enjoyed last night's episode, soul-crushing as it was (Gervais seems to be so good at that!) and, stop the presses, I didn't hate Orlando Bloom! Whoa! The power of Extras compels.


Quality interview with Ricky Gervais via The Onion A.V. Club.


Thursday, January 11, 2007


I just received this message via the infamous MySpace. Behold:

hey sexy ass....u like pussy? i thinkk ur fuckin sexy....

write back sexy

Here's the kicker...


... You ready?


... She's 15!


Eat your damn onions 

I miss Captain Murphy. I really do. I don't watch Adult Swim anymore. I'd like to think it's mostly because of his absence, but it's just not what it used to be. I wish I had less fun already.


Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Thanks, Polly Crutcher! 

Your spam mail entitled "my lare" was most enjoyable. And now I share.

the just plain stupid-would be very impressed by it. The mist churned,

glass windows here depicted scenes of mountains and valleys, villages
move to look that way. It was about time Fido made an appearance.
have had reservations since, but, well nothing much can really be done
book. Groups who believed in the inevitability of the coming war, as
from being programmed. Also-I really did lose my temper. Teddy bear
Good. On a historical note-how come guys over there, girls here?
place. Quickly!
closed the window and went to bed. It had been a very, very long day.
Just the man we are looking for, I said, remembering our earlier


Dear Wrigley's 

You went through all this effort to redesign the logo for "Extra" sugarless gum. Was it worth it?


Why Even Bother


Monday, January 08, 2007

I always knew there was a reason I liked Tigger 

This pretty much cements it. You just know that kid was asking for it. That family has "white trash" written all over it.

Tigger rules. And kudos to that employee for not apologizing. I respect that.


Friday, January 05, 2007

Pop quiz, hot shot 

You're Palestinian of reasonable mind and body and you're speaking out against Hamas. What happens to you? Sadly, I'm not surprised at all, but I think some idiots around the world will be. Take your head out of the sand, people.


Thursday, January 04, 2007

The news 

In six weeks, I'll be heading back to Cape Town. I am officially stoked.


Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Happy '007 


- Visited Phoenix just in time to help my parents move for a week. That was fun. Relaxing. I didn't swear off going back home at all.

- A couple weeks ago, I went to a delightful Hanukkah party (really, it was good times). There was a Yankee Swap/White Elephant gift exchange, too. I ended up with an astonishing item that just might be "The Worst Consumer Product of All Time." It's a ceramic, travel coffee mug. Ceramic. And it has sports decorations on it and the inscription, "I brake for sports." Okay, so that's pretty lame, but here's the kicker: At the bottom of the mug is a sticker that offers what is kind of an important warning issued by the state of California. "Warning: This mug contains high traces of poisonous lead and cadmium and may be hazardous to your health. Pregnant women should not drink out of this container." SO... to recap... 1) fragile travel mug 2) poisonous and should never touch your lips. BEST GIFT EVER! I'm saving it for the next white elephant exchange I participate in.

- Rocky Balboa is the kind of movie you like if you have no standards. It's somewhat terrifying, too, because at any second, Stallone's face could literally melt off of his skull. Yeah, he's had some work done. Dull and labored for the first hour and fifty minutes, muddled and unsatisfying with regards to everything after the training montage (it's a Rocky movie) -- specifically the lack of committment in the writing to Mason "The Line" Dixon's character (Antonio Tarver is fine) and the fact that Dixon fights most of the match with one-hand. Kind of a cop-out for a Rocky movie. Also -- and this is big -- no one gives this much of a crap about boxing, contrary to what the circumstances leading up to the fight in the movie would suggest. Special boos and hisses for Mike Tyson's unfortunate cameo.

- Children of Men a.k.a. "Human Misery: The Film." Incredibly well-directed and assembled, but completely and utterly empty and unsatisfying. The mission is to protect the baby, fine, yes, I understand, but there's absolutely no indication whatsoever at the end of the film that any of this war and suffering will change one bit. I felt hollow when the credits rolled and not because it was a typically dreary European ending, but because the ride just wasn't that satisfying. The thrust of the film is lost on me without pertinent information like, "What is the Human Project?" and "Is this pregnancy a fluke?" Behind it all, I suppose it's soapbox to stand on and shout about how the human race deserves to die and that it's because of our hatred towards one another that giving birth stopped happening in the first place. So this one pregnancy is what? A flower that grew out of a pot of dirt... just because? Anyway, the details are great, it looks fantastic, but there's ultimately nothing to be taken away from Children of Men. Add it to the long list of disappointments during this "Oscar season" -- which is terrifically shitty and uninteresting, this year.

- I hear Pan's Labrynth is amazing. I think after seeing that, I won't need anymore from the theater this year.

- 2007 is bizarre to me. More so, it's depressing. I'm terrible with guaging time in a grand, chronological sense. To me, it still feels like 2003. Last week, it was 1998. 2007, to me, is one of those years that is still 2-3 years away. I don't like it. But at least I can say that, on New Years this year, Bob Odenkirk gave me the dirtiest look when I was pouring myself a Jack and Coke, standing next time him, belting out "Since You Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson in falsetto because the DJ was blasting it. Good times.


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