Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Happy '007 


- Visited Phoenix just in time to help my parents move for a week. That was fun. Relaxing. I didn't swear off going back home at all.

- A couple weeks ago, I went to a delightful Hanukkah party (really, it was good times). There was a Yankee Swap/White Elephant gift exchange, too. I ended up with an astonishing item that just might be "The Worst Consumer Product of All Time." It's a ceramic, travel coffee mug. Ceramic. And it has sports decorations on it and the inscription, "I brake for sports." Okay, so that's pretty lame, but here's the kicker: At the bottom of the mug is a sticker that offers what is kind of an important warning issued by the state of California. "Warning: This mug contains high traces of poisonous lead and cadmium and may be hazardous to your health. Pregnant women should not drink out of this container." SO... to recap... 1) fragile travel mug 2) poisonous and should never touch your lips. BEST GIFT EVER! I'm saving it for the next white elephant exchange I participate in.

- Rocky Balboa is the kind of movie you like if you have no standards. It's somewhat terrifying, too, because at any second, Stallone's face could literally melt off of his skull. Yeah, he's had some work done. Dull and labored for the first hour and fifty minutes, muddled and unsatisfying with regards to everything after the training montage (it's a Rocky movie) -- specifically the lack of committment in the writing to Mason "The Line" Dixon's character (Antonio Tarver is fine) and the fact that Dixon fights most of the match with one-hand. Kind of a cop-out for a Rocky movie. Also -- and this is big -- no one gives this much of a crap about boxing, contrary to what the circumstances leading up to the fight in the movie would suggest. Special boos and hisses for Mike Tyson's unfortunate cameo.

- Children of Men a.k.a. "Human Misery: The Film." Incredibly well-directed and assembled, but completely and utterly empty and unsatisfying. The mission is to protect the baby, fine, yes, I understand, but there's absolutely no indication whatsoever at the end of the film that any of this war and suffering will change one bit. I felt hollow when the credits rolled and not because it was a typically dreary European ending, but because the ride just wasn't that satisfying. The thrust of the film is lost on me without pertinent information like, "What is the Human Project?" and "Is this pregnancy a fluke?" Behind it all, I suppose it's soapbox to stand on and shout about how the human race deserves to die and that it's because of our hatred towards one another that giving birth stopped happening in the first place. So this one pregnancy is what? A flower that grew out of a pot of dirt... just because? Anyway, the details are great, it looks fantastic, but there's ultimately nothing to be taken away from Children of Men. Add it to the long list of disappointments during this "Oscar season" -- which is terrifically shitty and uninteresting, this year.

- I hear Pan's Labrynth is amazing. I think after seeing that, I won't need anymore from the theater this year.

- 2007 is bizarre to me. More so, it's depressing. I'm terrible with guaging time in a grand, chronological sense. To me, it still feels like 2003. Last week, it was 1998. 2007, to me, is one of those years that is still 2-3 years away. I don't like it. But at least I can say that, on New Years this year, Bob Odenkirk gave me the dirtiest look when I was pouring myself a Jack and Coke, standing next time him, belting out "Since You Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson in falsetto because the DJ was blasting it. Good times.

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