Wednesday, November 30, 2005

This day is a very long day 

Feels that way, at any rate. Some things...

Band I'm really into lately: Rogue Wave. Don't let their stupid hipster name fool you, these guys are really worth getting into. It's been playing in my car for nearly two weeks, now.

Shimon Peres and Ariel Sharon on the same team? Yo, that's a powerful party sure to pull votes from both Labor and Likhud. Imagine if John McCain and Howard Dean broke ranks from the (R) and (D) to form a new party. Wouldn't that be cool, if not interesting?

Big movies I eagerly anticipate seeing:
1. Munich -- Such a fantastic (albeit tragic) story already. Can't wait to see what Senor Spielbergo does to enhance it.
2. *clears throat, yanks on shirt collar* The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe -- Yes, I know, Jesus parallel, heavy Christian themes, etc, etc. Gay centaurs and fauns, etc, etc. But listen, this book is awesome and the 1979 animated feature is very dear to me. I watched it countless times as a youngin'. So, yeah, gay Jesus and all, I'm there.

I don't like paying rent. Tomorrow is the first of the month. I don't like that.

What else... oh yes! Please sign this guest book.


Monday, November 28, 2005

Kiss of death 

This story is tragic, yes, but morbidly humorous as well.

Also, I don't care what anyone says, Michelle Rodriguez's character on Lost is maybe the most unlikable protagonist on television ever. She's just a raging bitch. A "cunt," if you will. Yeah, I said it. But she earned it.


Know what sucks? 

That very first Monday after a completely satisfying Thanksgiving break. Oh God, I do not want to be at work today. Especially after being on auto-pilot since Wednesday afternoon. That time off was much needed and will be sorely missed. Yeah. I think I watched all or part of, like, twelve movies over the last five days (including Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind which just gets better and better every time I see it) and who knows how much football and basketball, while vegging out on turkey leftovers. Man, that turkey lasted 'til Sunday. It was awesome. Also, a big shout out to Virginia Slim, Mainstream, and Bulldog. I never laugh as much as when we're all together (aww... seeping vagina sentimentality *fart*).

Despite it's anti-climatic climax, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is just great and thoroughly enjoyable. Definitely the best film entry in the series thus far and, hey, really funny! I especially appreciate that Ron Weasley is finally becoming an actual character as opposed to this shaggy-haired non-entity who only cries out, "Harry!" after he's bumbled his way into danger.

Despite being a little disconnected for about the first hour, Syriana is a very solid film. Really, the only knock I have on it is that for the first 30-60 minutes of the film, we're given so much info that we don't know what to do with. Those scenes are all really interesting, but lack a narrative drive. However, once the story finally forms, this movie is terrific. Great performances across the board.

I found Arizona's 30-point whacking of Virginia to be completely satisfying. We're on the cover of Sports Illustrated's college basketball preview, so any good results to counteract that jinx are more than welcome.

That's about it, for now. Not much news from my world to report. Outlook has been much better as of late. It's been pointed out to me that I don't swig so much from the bottle as I used to. Which is good. And though I never got drunk these last few days, I did drink far more beer over that span than I have in a while, which felt a little bizarre. Still looking for that big pile of money to sleep on. Still looking for that greener side of the pasture. Still looking in general and I'm sure I always will be. So will you. Because once you stop looking, you die.

Mental checklist of things I need to do:
- Get the dryer fixed
- Finally get a new comforter (the dumb dog pissed on my old one about a month ago and I've been freezing ever since -- my own fault)
- Write
- Cut out sleep in order to incorporate the extra bits of work that are popping up this holiday month into my schedule
- Write, you fucking idiot, write! You call yourself a writer?! Piss on you!

Some holiday parties I am looking forward to. Some I am not, but mostly because they're of the career world. I think I'm already slated for four holiday parties in the next two weeks (oh, yes, how bourgeouise of me).

Why the hell is it almost December? Cripes.


Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Jimmy Walker used to say "Dy-no-MITE" 

That's right.

Be warned. Here-in is talk of the NFL and college hoops.

Part of Turkey Day involves football. Mmm... football. Tough slate, this week 12.

Atlanta wins at Detroit -- Wouldn't be surprised if Atlanta got blown out. They're just that unpredictable.
Denver over Dallas -- Should be an excellent game between two teams I hate. Mike Shanahan is angling for coach of the year with Denver.

Cincinnati over Baltimore -- The safest pick out there, but the Ravens just beat Pittsburgh and Cincy may get caught looking ahead. (BB)
Oakland over Miami -- Love this game for the Raiders. Oh by the way, who called the upset over Washington last week? Thank you very much. (BB)
San Diego over Washington -- Speaking of the Redskins, they lose at home again this week and sink below .500 against maybe the best team in history that may not make the playoffs. Chargers are scary good, but the AFC is loaded this year and the schedule is not in their favor.
Jacksonville over Arizona -- One of the teams the Chargers are chasing in the wild card hunt is Jacksonville who should sweep aside the Cardinals with relative ease. (BB)
Chicago over Tampa Bay -- Very intriguing NFC matchup between two lame offenses. Bears have the best defense in the league. They win away.
Carolina over Buffalo -- Buffalo is tough at home, but the Panthers need to rebound from last weeks' L.
Kansas City over New England -- I've flip-flopped on this one all day. I'm going with Larry "211 yards" Johnson at home over the Patriots' 3-4 defense.
Minnesota over Cleveland -- This is a really tough game to call, too. Going with the suddenly .500 Vikings at home as they realize they amazingly still have a shot at the playoffs.
St. Louis over Houston -- I'd love to pick the Texans here, but just can't. Don't be shocked if they beat the Bulger-less Rams.
NY Giants over Seattle -- Sunday's marquee game. I think the Giants get their road act together and surprise perennial paper-tiger Seattle and MVP (at this point) Shaun Alexander.
Tennessee over San Francisco -- Umm... decidedly not the marquee game this week.
New Orleans over NY Jets -- Ew!
Philadelphia over Green Bay -- Eagles don't need McNabb and Owens for this one.

Monday Night:
Indianapolis over Pittsburgh -- If Roethlisberger isn't 100%, I don't think the Steelers have it in them. Colts remain unbeaten in a stellar matchup that may be marred by injury.

The Maui Invitational has definitely lived up to it's billing. I'm sorry I missed it, but the highlights to Gonzaga/Michigan State make it look like an instant classic. Triple OT! Adam Morrison! Perhaps the best player in the nation. Suddenly, people are warming up to those Larry Bird comparisons.

Arizona needs to improve it's shooting. No way around it. If they play the entire game like they did the first 15 minutes of the 2nd half, they run UConn off the floor. Poor shot selection hurt us against Kansas, but our defense was stellar. Last night against the Huskies, our defense was pretty good, forcing a lot of turnovers, but the offense was never able to convert on the other end. On paper, UConn is the better team regardless, but the Wildcats really should've done better. At any rate, we had another shot tonight against Michigan State (who looked much improved since their surprising blowout loss to Hawaii) and bit it in OT. Unfortunately, I only got home in time to catch the last minute and change when freshman Marcus Williams (not to be confused with UConn's suspended PG of the same name) missed to free throws to tie the game. Ugh. So that puts UofA at 1-2 on the young season, but at least those three games were against elite competition (even if Kansas is supposedly down this year) and that'll payoff come March. Seriously, though, shooting has to get better. Very much looking forward to the race in the Pac 10 this season between Arizona, UCLA, and Stanford.

My preliminary Sweet 16 --
1 Seeds:
Michigan State

2 Seeds:

3 Seeds:
Boston College
Wake Forest

4 Seeds
West Virginia

I would've picked Villanova to be national champions, but it looks like Curtis Sumpter might miss the whole season. So who knows who'll win. It's a monkey banana raffle.


Tuesday, November 22, 2005

My politics head is exploding 

Particularly in Israel where Sharon pretty much decided, "Okay, these guys just don't want to compromise. F it. I'm doing my own thing." Now that's news. And I think it's a tremendous step in the right direction regarding that whole fiasco.

News stations in the news for various reasons: FOX News and Al-Jazeera.

Super busy at work these last couple days putting together my very own episode. I'll slather later this holiday week about enjoying the latest Harry Potter, college b-ball's glorious return (go Cats!), and other trivial things you don't really care about.

Speaking of which, Mayday went swimmingly this past weekend. Around 230 attended. It was quite enjoyable.


Friday, November 18, 2005

A lot going on 

Thank someone it's Friday. Looking to blow off some steam this weekend. Couple of pa-par-pahtays this evening and, of course, Mayday screening tomorrow night.

Last night's Kings game was awesome, but nerve-wracking. We were blowing out Vancouver 5-1 in the third and final period, but just barely held on for a 5-4 win. Alex Frolov with three assists, baby.

I truly believe that the near total collapse in the third period was brought on by the unwanted presence of some fucktards who swooped down into some empty seats directly in front of us. I don't mind that by itself. Claiming some awesome seats after being planted in the nose-bleeds is a smart choice. But these guys... The "cool" skater types that make love to their cell phones and drink cheap beer like it's wine. And they were DUMB. I mean really dumb. They kept standing up while yacking on the phone, trying to get their friend, Russell's, attention. Russell has to be a fucking moron because he never did find these two twits. The blabber went something like this --

Duder: (standing and waving -- game is on by the way) Russell! Russell, yo!
Braaa: Hey, is that Russell on the phone?!
Duder: Russell!
Braaa: Duder, tell him we're in the bottom section.
Duder: Russell, yo! Dude!

And it went on like that for what seems like forever. And fucking Russell never did join these two twats (who later got into a shouting match with Joshua Jackson* of Dawson's Creek fame). I actually hope that he spotted his two friends and then as he was motoring down the stairs, he tripped, tumbled horribly and broke his collarbone. Serves him right. Hey, Russell! Fuck you, buddy!

*Jackson was wearing a Vancouver Canucks jersey with the name "Jackson" embroidered on the back of it. Boo! Poor fame, Pacey.

What else? Oh, Al-Zarqawi shows his ability to make allies and curry sympathy. And Wal-Mart -- heartless, evil monsters that they are -- get fucked right in the ass and deservedly so. No surprise that they'd skimp out on pay and hire freaking illegals.

Everybody likes football. Week 11:
Giants waste the McNabb-less Eagles
Denver mauls the Jets (BB)
San Diego over Buffalo
Carolina wins a good one over Chicago
Raiders upset the Redskins -- I have an unfounded feeling about this one
Browns beat the Miami in a stinker
Atlanta over Tampa Bay in a battle of "who the hell knows which teams will show up"
Dallas over Detroit
Pittsburgh over Baltimore
Jacksonville over Tennessee
Rams kill Arizona
Colts narrowly over Cincinnati in the game of the week
Patriots crunch New Orleans
Seattle routs San Fran (BB)
KC rips Houston (BB)
Packers over Minnesota on a dog of a Monday night game

Seeing the new Harry Potter tomorrow. If it's as good as Azkaban, I'll be pleased.


Thursday, November 17, 2005


In case you somehow inexplicably fell through the cracks of my networking reach and are living in the Los Angeles area, check this shit out.

Hwey guys!

Mayday is back again, so please join us for a lovely evening of booze and rapid filmmaking. And me... 'Cause you love me. You love what I do for you.

15 movies, all in competition and NO LONGER THAN 8 MINUTES EACH, all titled Yellow Hammer or some clever variation thereof, and all ready for the big screening. These films are so delicious. Mmm... oh God, they taste like Yellow Hammer! Hot. All total, these 15 shorts add up to just one measly feature that you'd normally pay through the nose for. Value!

This Saturday - Nov. 19
Doors open at 8 pm, Films start at 8:30pm

Elm Loft
2808 Elm St. Los Angeles CA 90065
You could map this address on Yahoo if you desired.

All 15 Mayday films will be screened, then there will be voting and prizes (filmmaking stuff! video games!) awarded. There will also be a donation bar, featuring Vampire wines, so you can get really drunk before voting. Democracy!

If you made a Mayday film then well let you in free. If not then it costs $3, which is to cover the cost of our new, larger venue. And really, you can spare $3.

So come on out, party hard, enjoy some great movies, and live life like you're gonna die, because at midnight we lock all the doors and turn into vampires. And you love supporting me. You love it so much! See you Saturday at 8pm at the Elm Loft.


Been busy and tired this week 

Which means I have been neglecting this page something awful. I kept thinking all through yesterday that it was Thursday and not Wednesday. But it was Wednesday and that just sucks my ass.


Check out the new issue of SMRT-TV that came out on... oh man, Monday? Shit. Yeah! Came out on Monday and it's full of me. I touch on watching the MLS CUP -- cheers to the LA Galaxy -- and talk about really serious, important stuff. Don't forget the sad farewells to Arrested Development either. I'd like to take this opportunity, once again, to mention Product Invasion and the newest email-forwarding sensation, Subservient Donald and ask that you link to them and spread the word. Thanks.

One thing you don't have to spread the word about is the movie Derailed, starring Clive Owen and Jennifer Aniston. Unless the word you're spreading is that it's dumb. Because it is. Really, I knew next to nothing about this film heading into the theater other than it starred Owen and Aniston -- my top combo for on-screen boffing. Needless to say, I was drawn in by the sex appeal and felt used upon leaving the theater. Some of the decisions made by the main character defy all rationale and logic -- even for a bad thriller. Though there were some tense moments and scenes, but they gave way to massive bullshittery.

I'm really excited about going to catch the Kings' game tonight against Vancouver. It's a battle of first place teams and I couldn't be more please about how LA is doing so far this season. I'll be there. Oh yes, I'll be there. Kings rule!


Friday, November 11, 2005

A travesty of a tragedy of an outcry. 

What a shame. Fare ye well, Best Show on Television. I will miss you. Fortunately, your ever-loving, warming glow can live on through magical DVD. However, that won't change the fact that your dismissal has left me cold and dead inside. Well, partially because of your dismissal...

For you lot who are too stupid to click on the link, I'm talking about Arrested Development's shortened season/cancellation. It's bullshit. But it's business...

This post is for British Eyes Only.

Week 10: Rocking this shit so hard. 11-3 last week and 3-0 on best bets, pumping the season record to 73-33, 18-6. Your winners for Sunday --

Detroit - Cardinals on the road? Yeah right.
Jacksonville - Even with Kyle Boller back, Baltimore is overmatched.
Indianapolis - A mortal lock against Houston. Best vs Worst. (BB)
Kansas City - No Priest Holmes? No problem. Larry Johnson runs wild in Buffalo.
NY Giants - Minnesota sucks. (BB)
New England - Pats rebound in Miami. They have too much pride to fold after Monday.
Chicago - I love what the Bears are putting together this season.
Denver - Go Raiders!
Carolina - Jets suck. (BB)
Atlanta - Packers suck.
Seattle - Should be a good test at home against the Rams, but not too troublesome.
Washington - Chris Simms is the QB in Tampa. 'Nuff said.
Pittsburgh - Even with the injuries, still like them over Cleveland.
Philadelphia - Strange how I feel like I'm making an upset pick here over Dallas.


Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Serious links that are fun! 

Hey, do me a favor and check out the following websites. Even better, after you've enjoyed them, enjoy them again and spread the word to all of your cyberspace contacts. It'll be so freaking sweet! You'd be doing me a serious solid. Seriously.

First up, we have Product Invasion. Want a glimpse into how filthy the networks are when it comes to schilling products during shows? Go here. Want some insight on the reality tv "frankenbite?" You could make your own, yo! Some very funny stuff. Product placement is such a monster. It's ruining our lives in a very real 1950s sci-fi kind of way. Check out some of the bullshit story editors have to go through to putting together an episode

The centerpiece of the site, though, is the awesome Subservient Donald. Anyone remember the "subservient chicken" website from years back that shredded Burger King? Same thing here. Only with Donald Trump as your dancing monkey. You can command him to do all kinds of crap. Some fun ones include flexing, air guitar, monkey, dance, marry me, fly, show chest, scream, clean table, and sing. Loads more, too. Honestly, you could spend so much time on this thing. Consider it better than your job.

Thanks, fellow duders. The success of these sites is tied to my well-being.


I blame you, Tee 

Well, it seems that Tee passed on the internet version of The Ring to me (it's like a sexual virus -- only without the sex and not harmful!). Once you see this website, your productivity will be shot. As one person in the "praise" section informs the administrator: “You completely wasted my day, you asshole.” — Jim

Also, here's a fun email exchange between Bill Simmons and Mark Cuban that every NBA fan should enjoy immensely.


Wow... that was awkward. 

My boss just asked me what a MILF is. My boss is a 69-year-old grandmother. I, of course, told her what it meant.



Dirt... won't... come off!

In other news, I voted yesterday because voting is fun and makes you feel like a good person. A productive, contributing member of society, even. Happily enough, all eight of Arnie's props went down in flames. Wait, I'm confused. You mean the system works? Huh.

I meant to post my reaction to the huge Colts/Patriots Monday Night Football game yesterday, but, for whatever reason, didn't. SO, here it is:

This was a loaded game, psychologically, if ever there was one. First off, count me in the camp of those who have always doubted the Colts primarily because they were 1) soft 2) mediocre on defense and -- most improtantly -- 3) they couldn't win a meaningful game on the road, especially against New England. Though it is just the regular season, I think the Colts turned a corner last night. Winning (and winning BIG) at New England -- even if the Pats are down this season -- was probably their biggest "yeah they're good, but..." It does wonders for Indy's confidence and, simultaneously, will cause the Patriots to do some serious soul-searching. Given, this isn't the team that won Superbowls -- they no longer have either coordinators and injuries have taken their toll -- but they certainly had the mental edge over the Colts before last night.

In three weeks time, Colts vs Steelers (also beat up) on Monday Night. Should be a good one and perhaps the last hurdle for Indy before wrapping up homefield advantage through out the playoffs. It's remarkable, too, that last night was the first (I think, possibly the second) time that Manning has thrown for 300+ yards this year. That means what? That the running game is as strong as ever (balance!) and the defense is stellar.

The way it looks right now, midway through the year, the Colts have absolutely no excuse for not winning the Superbowl. Here's why:

1) They have supreme talent at their prime -- Manning, James, Harrison, Freeney, etc.
2) The rest of the AFC is beat up
3) The NFC is lousy
4) The Superbowl will be played under a dome this year (Detroit)

If the Colts fail to win the big prize this season, they're a failure. They are clearly head and shoulders above the rest.

I had said before that the Eagles were going to win the Superbowl contingent on Terrell Owens' behavior. Well, needless to say, I'm revoking that prediction. Don't feel bad for T.O. He did it to himself. He deserves all the flak he's getting right now.

One last note, Lakers won again last night. Woo! Granted, they beat the Hawks, but LA hasn't won in Atlanta for five years. Can you believe that?!


Monday, November 07, 2005

Story of the year? 

Quite possibly - wait, no - definitely my favorite football-related story. Possibly ever. I guess this is why we have cheerleaders... to perpetuate lewd fantasies. What's especially hilarious is that now the Carolina Panthers website has virtually shutdown.

Amazingly enough, one day removed from Mayday madness, I am feeling pretty lucid. Napped for a couple hours in the afternoon, then got a good eight hours later that night. My cogent state is almost entirely thanks to VAMP NRG drink. I swear, I should be getting paid by those guys. Team Lower Gatsby's production of Yellow Hammer (Yeah... the possible titles submitted were really weak this time around. Thanks, Melissa Joan Hart. PS - I love you, Clarissa.), all-in-all, turned out pretty well and I truly think that our friend Alexandra is deserving of one of the performance prizes. But, as has always been the case, we at TLG are completely retarded when it comes to managing time. In a masochistic way, that's sort of how we like it. Screening is in two weeks. Good times.


Saturday, November 05, 2005

We interrupt Mayday for this important announcement... 

Arizona is completely whipping the living crap out of unbeaten UCLA!! The score, right now, is 45-7 midway through the third quarter! AHHHH!!! I'm busting, here. BUSTING! Forget the fact that the Wildcats will finish with a losing record, forget that we're destroying UCLA right now... this is our Rose Bowl. Oh, man. Love it. What a sweet revenge for 1998, too, when UofA's only loss was to freaking UCLA. If not for that loss, who knows, maybe the Cats could've won the national title or at least played in the Rose Bowl. Ah... loving this. There will be no Bruin comeback tonight.

Okay. Back to Mayday madness and more guzzling of VAMP NRG drinks!


Friday, November 04, 2005

Well done, Kofi! 

Well, I guess all it takes for Israel to have friends in the world is for a hateful, sickening nation to call for it's complete destruction. Check out the U.N. (yes, that U.N.) giving those bloody Iranians the finger. Applause is warranted.


It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack 

Are you ready, kids? BAMF!! Mayday is here again. This weekend, the 24-hour-film-festival-slash-psych-yourself-up-for-suicide-extravaganza takes hold. I've been pretty excited about it for much of the week. Yet, also much of this week, I've been exhausted. That doesn't bode well for pulling an all-nighter while maintaining a high level of energy. But this year we have some, uh, fluids to help us sustain. VAMP NRG drink. Holy fart, dudes, we're going to VAMP NRG drink ourselves into hyper oblivion. Oh God, the crash is going to be so painful. Hey, wanna watch some of the entries from the last Mayday? BOOM! Just click on 'em, damn it! Yours truly is attached to Team Lower Gatsby. Naturally.

As his been customary of late, I can't just leave this post at one topic, but the following may be loosely connected to how enthused I am about the weekend (soon, I'll have a weekend to be lazy and do nothing. Soon...) and it doesn't even have jack shit to do with stupid sports, so bare with me on this. I've mentioned this wedding from last week a couple times and I think it's finally crystalized in my head. Leading up to it, I was just so happy to be there. Being home in Phoenix, catching up with my folks who are selling their house, hanging with some of my oldest friends and watching college football, mingling with some of my new-found friend from the bachelor party a couple weeks earlier -- my mind was put at ease a bit. I didn't find myself angry about anything for those couple days. Taking off work on Friday probably helped a lot with that. Wait, where am I going with this? I don't even really know myself anymore. Stream of consciousness, etc. Oh yeah, so at this wedding, there are a bevvy of desirable, really awesome ladies. Some my age, some a couple years older but still young enough to play with. Anyway, they all had something in common. Either A) they're in a serious relationship or B) they're already married. Ack! Married? No! And it finally dawned on me that I'm now at about the age where it's customary to bring dates/fiances/spouses to weddings. You know something? It freaked me out. A lot. I hit that open bar like there was no tomorrow. Now, I certainly made my share of friends with the wives and was mostly relaxed for the evening (booze), but that notion of being in a relationship signifying adulthood just lingered in the back of my head. I'll admit, it had me feeling like a bit of a sideline player, which isn't too out of line from some of my previous thinking. Who are you in the stage production of life? You may dream big, act big, but utlimately your time won't come. Ever. That was me. Depressing, isn't it? A little morose, you might say. But this wedding changed my perspective a little. Just took a few days for me to get it.

There was an aunt on the bride's side of the family who cornered me at one of the tables late on in the reception while people were dancing. Some of the younger, playful wives had pointed me out to her as someone to talk to. The night was growing late and the crowd beginning to dissipate and she clearly had embibed some spirits. Funny lady from Georgia. In her 50s, I'd say. No, this isn't a Mrs. Robinson story, but stay with me. Auntie Georgia has a daughter dancing on the other side of the room. I know this because she slurred her words into my ear informing me of it. Several times. She wasn't blitzed or anything, but just tipsy enough to loosen up and court hansome gentlemen on behalf of her daughter. "See that girl over there? That's my daughter. She's a doctor -- an optometrist. So, she's a doctor!" I'm amused at her enthusiasm and can't help but smile, "Wow. That's really impressive. You must be so proud." But, you know, I didn't sound like so much of a smug prick saying it. Anyway, Auntie goes on, "She's 28. My daughter is 28. And she's a doctor... (here it comes, inevitable as ever) and she's single. Isn't she attractive? And she's a doctor. She could take care of you." And you know what? In my haze I remember the daughter being a good-looking girl. I'm not sure how many vodka & sodas I'd downed at the point, but she was cute. I don't quite remember what I said next (booze), but I endeared myself to this woman rather quickly and in no time she was leaning on my shoulder and laughing while skimming her hands through my hair... for a bit. Awkward? Maybe. Her daughter sees us. Okay, it's awkward. But I'm not breaking character. I'm still buzzed, adorable me. "She's single and she's an optometrist which is an eye doctor. And she's 28," Auntie Georgia carries on, now pointing at her daughter from across the room. Poor girl has to be mortified by her mom. In fact, she is going out of her way not to make eye contact. And that's fine. Seems the classy thing for me to do would be to not call attention to it. I don't and not a moment later I'm whisked away to another conversation by some people I had just met wanting me to meet their friends. "You have a lovely daughter," I say as I'm separated from Auntie Georgia. "But unfortunately she's on the other side of the country. She's an optometrist, though, and attractive and a snappy dancer. Plus you say she loves to cook. I know she'll land some incredible guy." Auntie wanted that guy to be me, but she was flattered all the same by the compliments for her daughter and ran her fingers through my hair one more time.

Now I'm off talking to a group of girls about 6-8 years older than me. They're all married. Some of their hubbies drop in and I'm a hit with them, too. I'm cursing those guys for having married these girls and the lonely sideline player is causing a ruckus in the back of my head, but it's all good. I'm getting hugs from people I just met as they leave and more than one, "Where's your girlfriend?" or "I should fix you up with my sister in L.A." It's a little flattering. As much I've just realized this very second as I'm typing this that I might sound like a giant douche writing about this, those cheers, I've come to realize, are empowering. Things this week felt a little less down and brown. One of the groomsmen I had met a couple weeks earlier at the bachelor party in Vegas. He's married to a beautiful, awesome wife (one of my good buddies that night while he was busy with the wedding party for much of the evening), wildly successful business man, very intelligent, sees all the angles and has the stories to back them up. You might say he's one of my favorite people I've ever met. Someone whose example I should follow. Things are amazing for this guy and he got me to realizing without saying it that I've got all the tools to be everyone's dream already. I just need to realize how well I use them.

So yeah, Mayday this weekend, LA Kings are in first place, Lakers' season is underway, certain people in the office (no, not me) are out the door for good in a week's time, prospects are out there both socially and professionally -- networking is at a high. Three times a week at the gym.

Alright. Let's roll.


Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I dreamed a dream 

An interesting dream, to say the least. Perhaps even disturbing. For some unknown reason, I was just hanging out in my bathroom with NBA star Emeka Okafor. He's of an imposing frame, for those who don't know. Anyway, we're just chillin' and our house cat, The Chancellor (little bastard that he is), jumps into the toilet. I remember finding it annoying and Emeka took note of my grimace. So, good friend that he is, he flushed the toilet. I tried momentarily to retrieve the cat, but then decided, "Eh, that little crap deserves it." Emeka and I had a chuckle and talked about proper rebound stance. Sometime later, I guess The Chancellor had popped out a drain pipe in the back of the house (which is absolutely horrifying from a sanitary standpoint) covered in shit. The roommates found him and I got blamed for it. I felt bad for a minute, but then remembered, "Hey wait. This ain't my mess! It's Okafor's!" Then when I rushed back into the bathroom to find Emeka Okafor, he wasn't there. The roommates just stood there, disapproving. Turns out I had Tyler Durden'd Emeka Okafor. Weird.

Charlie and the Hotdog Factory.

Jason Bateman just had throat surgery to remove a polyp. That has to be one of my least favorite words. "Polyp." Ugh, God, it just sits there and eats at you. Anyway, I only mention it because it means further delays with Arrested Development. Can I just ask, how many freaking two-hour specials could Prison Break possibly have?! Nonsense.

I don't know if I like the new TV/Cell Phone direction we're headed. I'm all for progress and am pro-science, pro-tech advancements, etc. But are we so impatient that we can't simply wait to watch our favorite show once we get home? TiVo seems to have caught on well enough. What happened to phones just being, you know, phones? Now they're TVs and cameras and web browsers, pretty soon I'm sure they'll be edible. Enough, I say. Enough.

I know it's only Wednesday, but I already filled out an NFL picks sheet on behalf of a friend today, so I may as well just slap those here, too, while I'm at it. Up to 62-30 record, 15-6 in best bets.
Week 9:
Atlanta over Miami - Falcons are just better, Vick or no Vick.
Carolina over Tampa Bay - Bucs could be headed into a tailspin after loss to 49ers.
Cincinnati over Baltimore - Possible trap for the Bengals. They should be careful as they didn't really put Green Bay away last week while Baltimore played well.
Detroit over Minnesota - Gruesome matchup.
Jacksonville over Houston - Bank on it. (BB)
Kansas City over Oakland - I think the Raiders could pull this one out on the road, but I'll err on the side of caution.
San Diego over N.Y. Jets - No question. Chargers are a really good team. (BB)
Tennessee over Cleveland - Woof. Another stinker. I don't think there's a right answer here.
Chicago over New Orleans - I like what the Bears are showing me this year. They're going to win their division.
N.Y. Giants over San Francisco - After the way the Giants polaxed Washington last week? (BB)
Seattle over Arizona - Almost a sure-fire gimme.
Pittsburgh over Green Bay - Favre always rebounds well after a horrible outing. Steelers have to show up for this one.
Philadelphia over Washington - Should be a good'n. This week, the Eagles are Dr. Jekyll.

Monday Nighter
Indianapolis over New England - I never ever thought I'd be doing this, but I'm picking the Colts to win at New England. The Patriots have looked shaky all year and I'm not sure the return of Tedy Bruschi will necessarily right the ship. Don't get me wrong, the road to the Superbowl still goes through New England, but at this point in time, I'm prepared to bite the bullet and say that with their improved defense, the Colts finally win a meaningful game in the elements. Should they lose, I'll be kicking myself. Unless they're in a dome, I've never believed the Colts can contend in the playoffs. Sure, this is only regular season, but the stars seem to be alligned.


Tuesday, November 01, 2005

The Weather Man and more! 

Movie review light...

Saw The Weather Man last Friday afternoon to kill some time before wedding festivities turning my weekend into a drunken blur. It's good... eventually. A very slow burn, but once it gets rolling, you're with it. Interesting character piece. The first half of the movie, however, is fairly dull and had me thinking, "Shit... how'd they ever greenlight this?" Not bad, though. Cage does a fine job. The subtle points of his relationship with his father pay off really well. Oh, and there's a camel-toe montage. Go ahead, call me a liar. It's totally there.

SMRT-TV has a new installment for very depraved eyes. It's very TV-y as I'm sure you could deduce.

10-4 footballing this week. Silly to have picked Tampa as a best bet given I knew all their injuries and Carolina and Dallas were staring me in the face. Some brief bits from week 8:
- Wow. Steelers squeaked by last night. Baltimore showed up to play.
- Eagles? What's happening? Jekyll/Hyde from week-to-week.
- Raiders win again! Yay! Only a game under .500 with KC coming up next week. You never know...
- Houston finally won. You heard it here, first.
- Culpepper out for the year. Doesn't matter. Vikings are awful.
- Brett Favre threw 5 picks on Sunday. It's the third time this season Cincinnati has forced a QB to throw 5 interceptions in a game (Harrington and Orton the previous two). Love that NFC North. Amazing the Bengals didn't win by more than 7.
- The Giants single-handedly halted any talk of Mark Brunell being MVP. That was something.

Did you know the NBA tips off tonight? Well, it does.

Couple of tantalizing baseball general managers available. Paul DePodesta (after the Dodgers flubbed their moneyball plan -- it takes a couple years to execute, dummies) and Theo Epstein. Not re-signing him may doom the Red Sox for another 86 years.


This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?