King for a lifetime, fool for a... lifetime...

While talking with Stacey last night, she told me a funny, yet unfortunate, story about her cousin being taken advantage of. Well, that doesn't sound quite right. Not exactly taken advantage of, but rather, surprised. Anyway, her cousin and this guy were getting intimate and all of a sudden she hears a buzzing coming from down there. Turns out this guy was about to use a dildo on her, but she was so blissfully lost in the moment that she didn't realize it until he turned the vibrator on. She freaks out and is shocked that this creepy guy was able to produce a dildo "from out of nowhere." Stacey likens the sleaze to a magician pulling rabbits out of his hat, 10 foot handkerchiefs out of his nose, dildos out of his ear, etc. But the funniest image I came up with was that this guy was Edward Dildohands. You know? He just sort of wears human-hand gloves, but when her panties drop the gloves come off. Edward Dildohands. That should be a porn spoof if I ever heard one. Right up there with Buffy the Vampire Layer, Indiana's Bone and the Temple of Poon, and Lawrence of my Labia.