King for a lifetime, fool for a... lifetime...

Well, I don't really know the rhyme or reason of it, but I was Kirk Cameron in this dream. Not really Jesus-loving Kirk, just regular Kirk. And I had a mission. Break into my younger brother's high school and trade sandwiches with him at lunch, then flee the scene. What?! Really? Yes. That was the mission and, might I add, it was very dangerous. Why it was dangerous, I do not know, but there was a definite sense of covert, rebellious mystery around it. So I, Kirk, find my brother who is paranoid that we'll get caught. He's sweating bullets, nervous as all hell. "We're going to get caught," he fears. But I assure him, as only the star of Growing Pains could, that we're going to get away with this and we're sticking it to the man big time. We bust into his locker, exchange sandwiches in the bathroom, then I make my deft escape through the bathroom window and run out into the suburban streets. Got away with it, right? Mission accomplished.

But wait...

Somehow, the principal found out about it and alerted the police. So now, I, Kirk Cameron, am on the run from the law with a bologna sandwich in hand. The cops are literally in a foot race with me. One has his night stick out, the other has a pair of cuffs, and the principal is not far behind. I trip, they grab me, but I'm not going down without a fight. Both the principal and the cops got bloody noses courtesy of the fist of Cameron. However, I got a bloody nose, too. I was charged with "resisting arrest and absconding with a traded sandwich." I don't know what happened to my brother. Possibly detention. But I got the slammer.

The madness, it would seem, is far from over.