King for a lifetime, fool for a... lifetime...

A friend of mine was telling me and others last night over dinner that he finally made the purchase. He bought Hulk Hands at Target for only $14.99. For those who don't know, Hulk Hands are a toy conceived of last summer to help promote the Hulk movie (A film that I really enjoy, but others don't... Whole different story). Anyway, they're large, green, dense foam hands molded into fists a la The Incredible Hulk. They're actually fairly soft and I have to imagine if this toy was around when I was a kid (blessed be the 80s) they would've been made out of a cheap, crappy, hard plastic that would break instantly and probably have a picture of the Hulk across the knuckles yelling, "Hulk!" But alas, that never came to pass. The hands make sound effects whenever they're "in action," which is to say, "when they move at all or touch anything." The noises range from the sound of broken glass and furniture to a sound byte of the Hulk arghing, "Hulk smash!" Yes, truly, things are better with Hulk Hands. I imagine Target is trying to clear them out to make room for new merchandise and also because Hulk Hands inexplicably underperformed. So if I hurry to Target, for a mere $15 I can (AND WILL) do the following with my Hulk Hands...

Thing to do with Hulk Hands:
Drive
Wear a suit and carry a briefcase in public
Punch a wall near a busy street for five minutes
Do dishes
Eat a Carl's Jr. Superstar
Lift weights at the gym
Wreck my roommates' furniture
Go grocery shopping
Have Hulk Hands fight with others who have Hulks Hands*

A couple of those might dirty up the Hulk Hands, but I think it'll be worth it.

*Some of my friends and I definitely plan on doing this once we get our Hulk Hands. It will be glorious.