Thursday, June 17, 2004
Napoleon Dynomite and Alan: A Conversation
Napoleon Dynomite: Hi. My name's Napoleon Dynomite. You might recognize me as Napoleon Dynomite.
Alan: Hey.
ND: What are you doing? Are you busy?
A: Feh... yeah.
ND: Busier than last week?
A: Not that bad.
ND: Aren't you gonna ask me any questions?! Geez!
A: Um... yeah. How's it going?
ND: I'm probably the best I've ever been in my life. I'm the greatest indie star probably in the history of the universe.
A: Yeah, I thought your movie was pretty silly -- in a good way. It's funny. You definitely make it worth watching.
ND: That's right! It's just incredible. It gives me such a rush. It's just awesome.
A: Right.
ND: You got any butt-kickin' tunes?
A: Just got burned copies of the new Beastie Boys and Velvet Revolver, respectively. I like them both so far, but I'll have to bond with them more before I can really articulate how I feel about 'em.
ND: I like breaking a funky beat.
A: Good.
ND: What's on your mind, dude?
A: Eh, stuff.
ND: Like your landlord and what a maddening bitchface she is?
A: Actually, yeah. Weird. She's just being really shifty about our new lease and I can't tell if it's just her normal bizarre, stupid, infuriating way or if another shoe is going to drop. I don't like not having control of my living situation.
ND: I bet I could beat her up if I wanted to, but I don't feel like it. God!
A: Yeah, but otherwise most everything is cool. We're having a big ass party on Saturday.
ND: Am I invited? Geez! I bet if I show up people would just want to see my 'chucks.
A: Your "chucks?"
ND: My numbchucks! God! I can't believe you didn't know that! You have like the slowest brain synapses of all time.
A: Yeah, so this party is going to be pretty sweet.
ND: I bet if I show up I could beat everyone there in a drinking contest. I once drank, like, four bottles of vodka and was the most sober I'd ever been in my life.
A: I kinda think you'd lose that contest.
ND: Is there going to be awesome drama there? 'Cause I know I love drama probably more than anything ever. Except for dancing and stuff.
A: I doubt it. My new housemate will be there, though.
ND: Geez! Does she have a boyfriend?
A: Dude.
ND: God!
A: Anyway...
ND: Hey, this is your 100th post. Do you think that's the coolest thing of all time?
A: Eh, not really. Listen, work's being a real bitch right now and I've got to deal with this braindead intern and his caffeine addiction.
ND: God! Fine! I'll just play by myself. I'm just gonna hang out!
A: Oh, but check it, no comments -- once again -- on my scenes. That's a good thing.
ND: That's fine, I guess. God!
|
Alan: Hey.
ND: What are you doing? Are you busy?
A: Feh... yeah.
ND: Busier than last week?
A: Not that bad.
ND: Aren't you gonna ask me any questions?! Geez!
A: Um... yeah. How's it going?
ND: I'm probably the best I've ever been in my life. I'm the greatest indie star probably in the history of the universe.
A: Yeah, I thought your movie was pretty silly -- in a good way. It's funny. You definitely make it worth watching.
ND: That's right! It's just incredible. It gives me such a rush. It's just awesome.
A: Right.
ND: You got any butt-kickin' tunes?
A: Just got burned copies of the new Beastie Boys and Velvet Revolver, respectively. I like them both so far, but I'll have to bond with them more before I can really articulate how I feel about 'em.
ND: I like breaking a funky beat.
A: Good.
ND: What's on your mind, dude?
A: Eh, stuff.
ND: Like your landlord and what a maddening bitchface she is?
A: Actually, yeah. Weird. She's just being really shifty about our new lease and I can't tell if it's just her normal bizarre, stupid, infuriating way or if another shoe is going to drop. I don't like not having control of my living situation.
ND: I bet I could beat her up if I wanted to, but I don't feel like it. God!
A: Yeah, but otherwise most everything is cool. We're having a big ass party on Saturday.
ND: Am I invited? Geez! I bet if I show up people would just want to see my 'chucks.
A: Your "chucks?"
ND: My numbchucks! God! I can't believe you didn't know that! You have like the slowest brain synapses of all time.
A: Yeah, so this party is going to be pretty sweet.
ND: I bet if I show up I could beat everyone there in a drinking contest. I once drank, like, four bottles of vodka and was the most sober I'd ever been in my life.
A: I kinda think you'd lose that contest.
ND: Is there going to be awesome drama there? 'Cause I know I love drama probably more than anything ever. Except for dancing and stuff.
A: I doubt it. My new housemate will be there, though.
ND: Geez! Does she have a boyfriend?
A: Dude.
ND: God!
A: Anyway...
ND: Hey, this is your 100th post. Do you think that's the coolest thing of all time?
A: Eh, not really. Listen, work's being a real bitch right now and I've got to deal with this braindead intern and his caffeine addiction.
ND: God! Fine! I'll just play by myself. I'm just gonna hang out!
A: Oh, but check it, no comments -- once again -- on my scenes. That's a good thing.
ND: That's fine, I guess. God!
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