King for a lifetime, fool for a... lifetime...

... by the staff at fast food restaurants. Today, I was in a rush to grab some lunch, so I stop in at a nearby McDonalds. The drive-thru is backed up for miles, so I park and head inside where there are significantly fewer people. I'm already feeling a little tense due to the fact that this morning was just generally stupid. You know? In a general sort of way. And of course, I'm under the proverbial gun to get back to the office to help out on this, another lame Tuesday.

I step up to place my order and before I can say anything the woman points at a sign to the side of the register. It reads, I shit you not, "We do not accept $100 bills." As if I have the appearance of some one who is carrying Ben Franklins around in his wallet (NOTE: my hair is disheveled, and I'm wearing jeans and a Seinfeld t-shirt). I look back at her disdainfully and say, "No fucking shit." She then points at the sign again just to make sure I took note of it. I breathe deeply for a second and ask her if she's ready to take my order. With a jovial smile reflecting the ineptness of her customer-employee relations skills, she asks me what I'd like.

Me: #1 meal to go.
Her: Okay and what to drink?
Me: Coke
Her: What flavor?

I glance at the soda fountain just to the side of me and see that there is only one available flavor of Coca-Cola. Know which one it was? Coca-Cola! I say again, "Coke, please."

Her: What flavor?
Me: Coca-Cola, please
Her: Excuse me?

Sweet lord, there's no possible way I could make this any clearer. I'm not whispering or mumbling. Clearly, she's just fucking with me. Clearly. At least that's what I want to believe because this is ridiculous.

Me: Coca-Cola!

I could see them making my burger and am pleased to report that no one spat in it. Unreal. It's as if they purposely mess with you.