Wednesday, December 22, 2004
I was playing soccer with dinosaurs and then my arm fell off
I feel compelled to share this bizarre dream I had last night. So here it is in all it's absurdity. Perhaps it was the glass of wine I had at dinner that triggered it. Hmm... Ah, no matter.
Robosaurs and Man Living in Harmony
I find myself in what looks to be a crude baseball stadium. There's a very minor league feel to the bleachers and there aren't really any walls surrounding the playing field. It seems like more of a nice stretch of green grass not uncommon at a neighborhood park, but nevertheless, it feels like a stadium. Anyway, I'm playing a pick up soccer games with a few other people and our robot dinosaur friends. Yup. Humans and robosaurs: totally friends. Think Transformers, only with dinosaur robots. The teams are mixed, too, in the interest of fairness. For some reason I'm playing goalie. I hate being goalie. I've never been good at it. Yet I somehow am able to deflect all three shots I face (two of them I actually used my face -- it stung).
One of the balls I bat away rolls out of bounds, so the Robo-Brontosaurus goes to take the thrown-in. Just as Robo-Bronto is set to put the ball back in play, I notice a plant sculpture of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, sort of like the lawn sculpture from Edward Scissorhands. That T-Rex sculpture wasn't there before, but I'm noticing it now and, for some reason, so does Robo-Bronto. He hesitates for a moment before throwing in the ball and, as he does so, T-Rex turns from plant into flesh and bites his head off. Robots aren't supposed to bleed, but the vacancy left by Robo-Bronto's head resulted in a geyser of blood that splashed all over the field. Suddenly, there are real dinosaurs running rampant all over the stadium, devouring humans and robosaurs alike, leaving nothing to chance. I rush into the bowels of the stadium in a mad dash to avoid the dinosaurs of which even the herbivores were feasting on meat. I see other faceless people decapitated all around me and hear the muffled shrieks of agony and horror from within the stadium. Suddenly, there's a T-Rex inside there with me, chasing after me.
The roof caves in and we all die.
I stir awake at that point. I haven't opened my eyes yet, but I want rub my lids before I do so. My right hand gets there... still waiting on the left. Dude... left hand, where you at? I realize, then, that I can't feel anything below my left shoulder. Nothing. I can sense the synapses that are firing to maneuver my digits, but see no result. I pick up my limp left limb and throw it around the bed trying to knock some feeling into it. For about thirty seconds, I know what it's like to be an amputee. Then my brain kicks in and says, "Hey, you drunken moron, you slept on your arm. God, you're such an ass." Then I say, "Oh yeah."
Alright, I admit that you won't feel any smarter for having read this. But you did, so there. Booyeah!
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Robosaurs and Man Living in Harmony
I find myself in what looks to be a crude baseball stadium. There's a very minor league feel to the bleachers and there aren't really any walls surrounding the playing field. It seems like more of a nice stretch of green grass not uncommon at a neighborhood park, but nevertheless, it feels like a stadium. Anyway, I'm playing a pick up soccer games with a few other people and our robot dinosaur friends. Yup. Humans and robosaurs: totally friends. Think Transformers, only with dinosaur robots. The teams are mixed, too, in the interest of fairness. For some reason I'm playing goalie. I hate being goalie. I've never been good at it. Yet I somehow am able to deflect all three shots I face (two of them I actually used my face -- it stung).
One of the balls I bat away rolls out of bounds, so the Robo-Brontosaurus goes to take the thrown-in. Just as Robo-Bronto is set to put the ball back in play, I notice a plant sculpture of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, sort of like the lawn sculpture from Edward Scissorhands. That T-Rex sculpture wasn't there before, but I'm noticing it now and, for some reason, so does Robo-Bronto. He hesitates for a moment before throwing in the ball and, as he does so, T-Rex turns from plant into flesh and bites his head off. Robots aren't supposed to bleed, but the vacancy left by Robo-Bronto's head resulted in a geyser of blood that splashed all over the field. Suddenly, there are real dinosaurs running rampant all over the stadium, devouring humans and robosaurs alike, leaving nothing to chance. I rush into the bowels of the stadium in a mad dash to avoid the dinosaurs of which even the herbivores were feasting on meat. I see other faceless people decapitated all around me and hear the muffled shrieks of agony and horror from within the stadium. Suddenly, there's a T-Rex inside there with me, chasing after me.
The roof caves in and we all die.
I stir awake at that point. I haven't opened my eyes yet, but I want rub my lids before I do so. My right hand gets there... still waiting on the left. Dude... left hand, where you at? I realize, then, that I can't feel anything below my left shoulder. Nothing. I can sense the synapses that are firing to maneuver my digits, but see no result. I pick up my limp left limb and throw it around the bed trying to knock some feeling into it. For about thirty seconds, I know what it's like to be an amputee. Then my brain kicks in and says, "Hey, you drunken moron, you slept on your arm. God, you're such an ass." Then I say, "Oh yeah."
Alright, I admit that you won't feel any smarter for having read this. But you did, so there. Booyeah!
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