Tuesday, June 14, 2005

This is priceless 

Up for the award of "Biggest Douche" for 2005: Florida State QB Wyatt Sexton.

An incident report by Tallahassee police officer Zachary Lyne said he was called to a residential neighborhood about reports of a man doing push-ups in the street and jumping on a car.

Lyne said he found Sexton in the middle of the road wearing only a wet pair of shorts. The officer asked Sexton several times to identify himself, and eventually he said he was God.

Sexton later got on his hands and knees, yelled obscenities at the officer and stared at him. He was doused with pepper spray and handcuffed, and identified himself as Sexton.

A staredown?! Pure... Awesome. This guy is a hero of sorts. Cracked out of his head, but still a hero. And perhaps it's not so ludicrous for him to refer to himself as God. Picture it: You're a 20 year-old meathead football player at one of the sleaziest universities in the country. You quarterback one of the nation's most prominent football programs, so you're probably banging co-eds left and right. Quick recap: You're 20, a meathead football player, sluts are falling all over you. Yeah, I could see how you'd think you're God.

Man, this is funny. Why the hell were his shorts wet? I can't stop laughing at the thought of him being "doused with pepper spray" after the stare down. This, my friends, is comedy.

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