Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Baaaaaaaaaahhhhhh... whatever 

See if you can follow this:

I had this weird dream that I was trapped in a school, a hostage if you will; Toy Soldiers style. Wil Wheaton, Sean Astin - a TNT classic. Anyway, held hostage at this school and the terrorist ringleader (much to my dismay) is Jeremy Piven. Specifically, Jeremy Piven as agent Ari Gold from Entourage. This is devastating news because I love Ari Gold, but now know that I have to kill him if I want the school to be free.

After an elaborate game of cat and mouse where Gold nearly busted me and some friends for smoking weed in class (I ditched the weed by planting it on my brother without him knowing. I was deeply afraid that he'd be caught with the contraband, but I managed to will it so that he was not caught and none the wiser), Gold and I wrestled. Not like WWF or anything, it was more like a street brawl with a lot of grappling. I managed to jam a thumb deep in his left eye and completely submerge it until Ari Gold's screaming body became lifeless and I tossed him aside to the floor (I am SO sorry, Ari). Then, panicked and overjoyed that I had liberated the school, I grabbed a 12 gauge and for some inexplicable reason shot a wheelchair-bound Chief Justice William Rehnquist in the stomach. He was on our side. It was an accident, I swear. But despite the gun being a full-on 12 gauge, the bullet hole was no bigger than a pea and Rehquist was merely out of breath for a while before recovering.

Then I woke up, came to work, and have been bored ever since. The end.

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