King for a lifetime, fool for a... lifetime...

I came back to work yesterday to find that one of my co-workers - the one I work closest with, in fact - got far far far too much sun while on break. This is beyond sunburn, although she claims she never burned. No, this is something else comletely. Her face is as rubbery as leather. Kinda like this guy. As much as I want to call her George Hamilton to her face, I know she is already way too self-conscious about her image (she's stupid like that - and my God, she never shuts up). Anyway, I can't make eye-contact with her for more than five seconds before I have to either look away in disgust or choke back laughter. Does that make me an asshole? Not really. I mean, how do you tell someone their face looks like a handbag? Worse, how do you refrain?!

I want to go to bed.

And I want my fucking car back. What kind of fucking idiot doesn't realize that the beeping sound their car makes when they lock the doors with their remote control alarm key is a car alarm? That's not a rhetorical question. Sadly, I have found someone that stupid.