Thursday, October 06, 2005

Confidentiality shmonfidentiality 

Why don't you fuckin' pay me, boss! Anyway, I'm not giving anything away here, but I just think this interview excerpt from one of the kids on the show is pretty hilarious. Basically, she's a dumb-as-bricks, 19-year-old, pampered, sheltered, princess who is paranoid and completely self-absorbed to the point where you could be talking about vegetables and she'd manage to instantly relate that to her boyfriend back home. In this case, she's traumatized by her first exposure to homosexual promiscuity when a gay roommate brings home a boy. Read below for irrationality to the Nth degree. What's great is that this girl has no filter. Names have been shortened to initials to protect, well, my ass. You're made of stone if you don't laugh at this. It might help if you picture this girl speed-babbling at a hundred miles per minute.

Obviously you want me to talk me to talk about the ass sex last night the homosexual ass sex that occurred last night. Honestly obviously everybody in the house knows that it freaked me out that that boy did not look gay at all like he, I was under the impression that I don’t necessarily have like a stereotype for like what gay people look like but I I fix my...I was under the impression that I would never like not that I have a stereotype for what gay men look like but I kind of always thought that I would be able to tell if somebody was gay and um...

When I saw that kid Buhahee or whatever his name was, Bucockee, like I really just got swept up. He scared the crap out of me.

He was just like cool like a normal dude and it gave me the worst feeling in my stomach I was like my boyfriend is gay, why I don’t know. I’ll find a reason why because he doesn’t look gay at all. I saw an Oprah special where all these men were gay they were closet homosexuals, nobody knew T only gets guys that are like closeted and it just freaked me out I was like what if what if somebody I know is gay I would never think he’s gay.

I don’t want to say it was disturbing. It’s one thing to see two people no matter their sexuality, in love, and just you know making love and being happy. It’s another thing when it’s two really drunk people and it’s T and a boy...like the kid that T brought home literally looked like he was 18 years old.

The girl and another roommate spy on the two gay lovers.

But it was took so long we got so bored that me and JL got back into bed and I thought she was sleeping and she thought I was sleeping but we were just like fuck it we gotta go back. So we run back and the most disturbing sound of testicles like...ah...I need to stick this in.

It’s not working oh. The most disturbing sound. Testicles just lashing against an ass like and at first I’m like all right who is getting it in the pooper. I need to know business needs to get settled. Who’s the bitch. Who’s the man. And we turn around and we see T like this hanging on the freaking circle getting it in the butt. T’s the bitch. Which doesn’t surprise me only because he said that his penis is so big that he has to get it in the butt, but I think that’s just an excuse for I like in the butt and I like being the woman so T I know your games you want to be a woman. But anyway, yeah basically the noise the noise was like...


Just like that. And it’s going on for like a pretty long time and then it gets slow and then it gets really fast again, and then obviously he’s cramping up because this is a long time of just smacking...and then just...

Meantime JS doesn’t know what’s going on he thinks the machine is on the washer and dryer he’s like who is doing their laundry at four o’clock in the morning. And I’m like no JS...T is getting butt fucked in the shower. T is getting it in the pooper. And then all I hear is Buckcokee say you’re going to have to suck me off.

Here’s then it’s like if somebody told me um I had to suck me off or I had to suck you off, that little sexual experience in the shower would be basta finito no mas and T was a champ and got on his knees and did the deed. That was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen because now it’s like I look at T and I can’t picture him like being a man.

I expected T to come downstairs and do the I got ass dance and he didn’t. He was very embarrassed about which surprised me because you should have seen him in the shower that kid was like oh I don’t want to I don’t want to do it, I’m really embarrassed and T was just like just put in my pooper I need to get things crackin’ and on it’s like five o’clock in the morning you’ve got to speed it up.

Unfortunately, it isn't all this good.

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