Thursday, December 29, 2005


What's up, a few days later? Suck me!

The big news in my domain the past week is the addition of a new, kick-ass roommate to the fold. We found her, of all places, on miserable Craigslist. Ah, but the roommate and I are savvy. We devised an ad aimed at eliminated undesirables from our selection pool. Some of the responses we received were hilarious. Within the ad are a laundry list of things that we enjoy. Here's how the new girl responded to our non-sensical jabbering. You'll see why she was the obvious choice:

Who is your NEW roommate?

1 girl (25) and I have a girl dog too, but she will be
living with her father.

Themed parties - all of my parties are themed, not
kidding, some of which have included; suburban BBQ,
natural disaster (you had to dress as a natural
disaster. I was an earthquake and went around doing a
strange shaking dance and saying "off the richter, off
the richter..", James Bond where I went as hotel
heiress London LaQuinta, the slutty spy, prom where
you had to come dressed in a specific decade attire
like 50s, 80s.... there were full decorations and a
picture taking station. the list goes on and on.

Sexy parties - never had one. oh wait! family guy! i
own seasons 1-3. they come with me.

Sports - if i can bet on it or play it in the front
yard, i'll enjoy watching it. im very good at

Comics - neil gaiman. thats all i got. i dont have a
stan lee vs anything stance. maybe you can show me the

Photography - always. i come with a working antique
camera collection.

Film - i graduated from the Savannah College of Art
and Design with a BFA. there i majored in film and
minored in sound design. i like to get drunk and make
spontaneous films and edit them the next day for
viewing at the next that night party. i like to take
microphones apart and build radios. yeah, im that
cool. and im not a movie snob.

Degrassi - i dont know anything about this.

Art - art is good.

Museums - museums are one of those things that you
are supposed to be all into if youre all into art, and
i am, but not every day. id only go if id never been,
or there was a good exhibit. museums kinda make me
nervous. they are cold and large and people walk
around with badges and walkie talkies but with no real
authority. kinda weird.

Theater - honestly, i get bored. i havent been in a
long time, i'll try again.

Performing - oh yes.

Books -- reading makes us smart. Yay! - i read mostly
historical non fiction. i like biographies and
European history. a lot. someday i will be cool and
read every tom robbins book, or finish naked lunch and
have long debates about it with other people who
pretend to "get it", but, not any time soon.

Comedy - ali g is great. so is full house, in the
removed sense of comedy. vh1 makes me laugh too. athf
is pretty perfect.

Amusement parks - yes, but not lines when its very
hot. i like water parks better.

Small venue concerts - the best kind.

The Superbowl - very very very exciting. i dont know
the rules of football, but i watch it weekly.

Plants - never really had any. fruit bearing trees are
something that everyone can enjoy.

Writing - i like it.

Cereal (we love cereal) i want to like count chocula,
and i do, but its just too much. i like cereal dry. in
hand fulls.

People who are neat (open-ended interpretation) -
people who cant handle dishes being left in the sink
overnight (1 night), hate them, people who never ever
do their dishes to the point of creating life in cups,
dont like it, but i tend to get drunk and do dishes. i
clean what needs to be cleaned no mater who dirtied
it, and i dont care about a little uncleanliness. i am
pretty clean myself. people who are interesting are
even better then clean people. as in, "my new roomates
are neat, but i do all of the dishes." zing!

Beer - we know each other very well. beer and i hang
out just about every night that i have off from work
(2 nights a week). i dont get stupid, or emotional, i
usually feel the need to listen to music, make
something like a movie or photo collage like all
dressed up as something, or cook , or clean. its
pretty fun. i dance around a lot, but i do that sober.

Presenting - the first thing i thought of was like an
animal in heat? when they "present" to the male? is
that what you mean?

Battlestar Galactica - used to watch it every sunday
before i had cable.

Being cheeky - do you want to have a contest where we
talk to eachother only in forign accents and who ever
breaks it first has to do something uncomfortable to
be voted on and determined later? that could be fun,
or very obnoxious.

Smarmy - clashy

Board games - love them! no one will ever play with
me. i only have uno and uno has no board.

Video games - i like them very much.

Mario kart - i will take you down bitch.

Cake - not that into it. i can make it though. i can
bake many things.

Cash Milliondollars - rap music? love it.

The good music - as opposed to....... sure.

Politics - dont care. guess i should, but i dont. i
dont really want to type it all out. if you really
really want to know how i feel about everything, i'll
tell ya later.

The British - they are funny.

Looking so damn hot - what is........, something i do
every day?

Sloffice - coffster

Beefma (nonsense words, in general) - mung

The Beach (both the book and the place, but not the
movie) - oh god the movie was awful! havent read the
book. i really like the place, but i like secluded
ones or going at night. i dont like oily muscly guys
fucking up my ocean view and they hang out durring the
day, and where they can be seen. so yeah, the away
from that beach.

Weeknight bar outings - love it. cranes is awesome,
hollywood billiards is awsome, if you have ever been
there on a sunday morning, you have probably hung out
with my friends. they are the very loud Bengals fans.
and, i know it sounds stupid, but big wangs has a
different food or drink special every night and its
just not fair of us to not take them up on the offer.
however, now im being a grown up and not going out if
i have to wake up before 9 am.

24-hour movie-making - not kidding, i do this with my
other oh so awesome film school friends all the time.
we had 2 that we just did for fun that ended up being
screened at Cannes Film Fest in 2002 and 2003. they
flew some of us there and everything. so rad. i'll
show you a few, if you can handle humorous adult

LA Kings hockey - i thought only Canadians were
supposed to play hockey. everyone else is just joking
right? like, playing in the street but more publicly?

Batman - rules

Paying bills (wait…) - i love it when people do that
so it gets there on time. thats nice. like, knowing
that you get one the same time every month, so
planning for that? more people should do that. i sure

Being bitches (watching Golden Girls and eating ice
cream) - I met Bea Aurther once. i went to her one
woman show in savannah GA. i fucking love golden
girls. not just for the witty banter, and challenging
80s stereotypes about older women, and sexual
orientation discrimination, but for those flowing
glittery formal outfits that they wear to all of their
galas. sometimes i just stare at Blanche's face. it
really is amazing.

The sound of paradise - what?

Clean dishes - see above. if its ever that big of a
deal, paper plates arent that expensive, and ordering
food is so damn convenient.

Settlers of Catan - ummmm, is this like a ren fest
kinda thing? cause im down with ren fest, but i dont
know anything about this.

Vegas road trips - ive never been! i want to go so
bad! i am a good long traveler of the road. i have
taken many a dusty trip across and through this great
nation. i have a one year old car. its so dependable.
great gas millage. come on, lets go.

Drinking for charity - how do you do that? i would
love to.

Space Prom - this sounds like the best idea ever.

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