Thursday, February 16, 2006

Don't stop believin', Iran. Don't stop. You just go for it. 

I want a t-shirt that reads, "Dick Cheney shot me in the face and all I got were these lousy Roses of the Prophet Mohammed." Could I start an intifada with that?

Sweeter than freedom fries. I was planning on posting this here earlier, but then got sidetracked, and later, actually jotted it down on Begum first. But here's my position on the Danish renaming plus a little more:

Yeah, it's pretty lame. And, really, it is very hard -- if not impossible -- for the States to make fun. However, if I never had eaten either fries or Danish pastries before and I was presented with a pictureless menu that listed "Freedom Fries" and "Roses of the Prophet Mohammed," I'm taking Freedom Fries. I mean, honestly, I don't want to eat anything that came from Mohammed, let alone his euphamistic roses. Why don't I just throw up in my mouth (again)? Part of me secretly suspects that the name change alone has caused these pastries to now suddenly smell awful.

"This is a punishment for those who started misusing freedom of expression to insult the sanctities of Islam," said Ahmad Mahmoudi, a cake shop owner in northern Tehran.

Fair is fair, man. We can't see Mohammed, but I bet he bakes a mean danish. No blasphemy here. I mean, duh, like Mohammed ever used an oven in his life? Unless you count the desert, but I doubt he was whipping up any desserts.

The Iranians could be on to something, though. Let's see...
Abraham Curds and Way
Jacob and Isaac Bagel Schmeer
Joseph and his amazing technicolor rainbow Chips Ahoy
Moses Meuslix
John the Baptist Drinking Water (bottled in the Sea of Galilea, I'm sure)
Mark Crackle Luke

France wins the "No shit, idiot" award. Thanks for coming France. We always appreciate a contributor.

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