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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

My teams are sucking ass, right now 

I just need to vent about the sorry state of my respective teams and allow myself to decompress in time for the new episode of Lost (which surely will be better than the last installment, if only because it doesn't center on that worthless panty waste, Charlie).

NHL - The Kings are sucking giant fucking donkey dick, right now, and they're loving it. Holy damn, the Olympic Break couldn't have come at a better time. These tools are riding a seven game losing streak including a 5-1 defeat last night to Minnesota and a 7-4 embarrassment tonight against pathetic Columbus! That's twelve goals conceded in two fucking nights!! And all five goals against Minnesota were on the power play! how disgusting is that?!?! Like I said, the Olympic break will hopefully serve as needed time for this team to re-evaluate where they are. If someone asked me to submit a power ranking list for the last two weeks, I'd rate LA dead last. Fucking miserable.

While we're talking NHL, I think this whole Rick Tocchet gambling "scandal" business is absurd. People LOVE to gamble. It's a victimless crime. What's more is that Tocchet neither gambled, nor solicited information on or about hockey. So who cares? The moral elitists, that's who. Too bad. I like Tocchet tons. He's still one of my all-time favorite players. Very underrated during his career.

NBA - The Lakers finally pulled their heads out of their ass tonight against lowly Houston, but that doesn't excuse going a pathetic 2-5 on a 7-game road trip in which they should've come out 5-2. I swear, the Lakers are in perpetual idle this season. There's absolutely no momentum. Some of these recent losses were sickening, too. Blown out by an injury-depleted Pacer squad (it was just newly acquired Peja, no Jermaine O'Neal. Stephen Jackson got hurt early in the first quarter), losing to the worst team in the league in Charlotte (conceding a whopping 40 points in the opening quarter!), and then getting conked by a surprisingly hot Hornets team (By the way, can we just give Chris Paul his rookie of the year trophy now and save everyone the trouble?).

Before moving on, I'd just like to point out that Bill Simmons is still the man. Great state of the NBA stuff from him. "Stromenzen Wrift," indeed.

College Hoops - The University of Arizona for the first time in a long while has... a bad basketball team. These guys are absolutely rudderless with no strong leader on the team. Sure, Hassan Adams is a scoring machine and will probably make a fine pro, but his only focus this season is clearly trying to impress NBA scouts with his jumpshot. This, when his bread and butter is slashing to the basket which creates open shots for others. We don't even have to talk about overrated Chris Rodgers getting tossed off the team. And Mustafa Shakur? What the fuck? He has actually regressed so far in his junior season that he is playing even worse than he did as a freshman. That guy was supposed to be the key to another Pac 10 title!

While we're talking about college ball, just want to note that if UCLA had their full compliment of players (poor Bruins have been bombed by injuries, yet still lead the weak Pac 10) we'd be talking serrrrrrious Final Four contender. As it stands now, they probably fade in the Sweet 16. Also, not a newsflash or anything, but UCONN is the best team in the nation. I can't see them not winning the title.

Sigh...

Oh, and then there's this disturbing news from the world of the NFL:

Joe Theisman and Tony Kornheiser will be the color analysts for Monday Night Football next season. As a direct result, I will not be watching Monday Night Football. Why not just throw Bill Walton in there to complete the torturous effect? And for crying out loud, what crackhead thought it was a good idea to let Kornheiser in the booth?! The guy's the most retarded journalist this side of Skip Bayless. What a shame. This clears the path for Al Michaels (best sportscaster around) to walk on over to NBC for undoubtedly superior play-by-play call on Sunday Night.

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