King for a lifetime, fool for a... lifetime...

We're all, by now, familiar with the first film entry of the new millenium. A film that defies qualitative judgement at every turn. Until last Friday, I was sure that there could never be another. Then I saw Silent Hill. You have to understand, I was actually pretty excited about seeing this movie, having had so much fun playing the video game with my friends. The game is really creepy. Loads of fun when you're with bunches of people. The trailer, I thought, was just plain awesome and surely it would capture the feel of the video game and give me exactly what I want (much the way that Dreamcatcher suckered me in). Well, I got the video game, all right. Perhaps in too literal a form. It's as if they lifted the stilted acting and dialogue, the exact same music cues, and all the ethereal elements of the video game (including what is clearly a "save point") and put them on the screen, but forgot that they were making a movie. As is, the parts that comprise the video game don't translate into big-screen narrative at all. I can only imagine how maddening and confusing it must be to watch this movie without ever having seen or played the video game because, frankly, not even I (who played the game) had any fucking clue what was happening. It was amazing. FASCINATING. I walked out of the theater in a state of disappointment and utter curiousity and remarked to my friends that right then and there, at 1 a.m. when the film let out, that I could watch the whole thing again, right away. It's a study in pure nonsense and, really my friends, it has contributed more to the world of film than we may ever fully realize in our lifetime. Absolutely mad. You can be sure that a 21st Century double feature is on the bill as soon as this movie is released on DVD. Highlights of the film: how about anything that the cop character does? Ever. She's so awful. It's hypnotic. Personal highlight: the film goes to great lengths to make it clear that the town of Silent Hill perished in a fire. So, 2/3 of the way through the movie, when the main character walks into an abandoned building and remarks, "Looks like there was a fire here," I couldn't help but laugh "No shit!" It got a laugh.

Know what movie I watched again the other night out of sheer boredom? Major League! That movie is wonderfully ridiculous on several levels. yet totally satisfying. Especially -- ESPECIALLY -- the oft overlooked performance of terrific deadpan actor James Gammon.

Right now, I'm watching the Arsenal/Villareal soccer match. Coming back from halftime a drunk Spanish fan ran on to the field and delivered a Barcelona jersey to Arsenal forward Thierry Henry before getting tackled and handcuffed by security. The jersey actually had Henry's name on the back of it! Trust me, it was hilarious.