Friday, May 19, 2006

Ba-da-ba-ba-ba, I'm lovin' it 

- There's a poster at my gym for McDonald's new "Asian salad." Makes perfect sense to me. After all, they're the official sponsor of the US Olympic team. I recall late in high school, too, when they had a huge promotion with the NBA and introduced the "Insert the name of the NBA star specific to the player's home market" burger. In the case of Phoenix, it was the Jason Kidd burger, if I remember correctly. The slogan for that campaign? Make it a triple-double. But Jason Kidd, how do I make it a triple-double? Says Kidd in the advert, "Go to McDonald's twice a day, three times a week." And people wonder why we're all so fucking fat? Setting aside the absurdity of having anything McDonald's-related in a gym -- a place of health and exercise -- let me ask: do you think that Asian salad is exclusive to Asians? Maybe it should be. Although McDonald's is a huge backer of globalization. But supposing the salad is exclusive and McDonald's is lagging in the civil rights department, then where, McDonald's, is my "white" salad? Or Michael Jordan's "black" salad? This salad appears from the picture to be no more than a Chinese chicken salad. So, do you think the other Asians have caught on? Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Cambodian, Laotian, so on. They're not cool with this, right? Right??

- Art School Confidential. I saw it. I don't like it. Days after seeing it, I realize more and more how stupid it is. There's a point where the slacker character in the film remarks to the main character, "I've just figured out who you are. You're the douchebag." And you know, he couldn't be more right. The main character, Jerome, is the epitome of a gurgling twat and, quite frankly, a desperately closeted homosexual. Sort of invalidates the whole romance for me. The film is pretty boring and took just the bare amount of thinking to slap together. Ghost World, this is not. As if it isn't easy and tedious enough to spend the first half of the movie making fun of art school students (seriously, it's like shooting fish in a barrel and hopelessly cliche), the film gradually morphs into what it has spent so long mocking. "Oh, oh life is so full of despair. No one recognizes my true genius, my artistic merit. I should be soaring amongst eagles instead of toiling with filthy peasants. All they respond to is gratuitous sensationalism." Blow me.

- I missed the Clippers/Suns game tonight, but caught some of the press conference afterwards (because I'm a huge fucking dork when it comes to these things) and saw Steve Nash field a question in Spanish (yes, it was for Spanish-language TV). Props to you, Steve Nash. That's pretty damn cool. He really is a renaissance man. Before answering in his rusty Spanish, Nash jokes, "My Spanish is more overrated than my game." I do say, well played, MVP.

- Catching up on season two of Deadwood these last couple days. One brilliant line that stands out as one of my favorites in all of television: "Aw shit, he just twelve-pointed Slippery Dan!" The text doesn't come close to doing the delivery justice, so if you haven't seen it, you'll just have to trust me.

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