Friday, June 23, 2006

Things to do before I die. 

We're all getting older, folks. All of us. And one day... we're all going to die.

Today is June 23, 2006. I am 26 years, 4 months, and 18 days old. The following is a living, incomplete list of things to do before I die. From here on, it shall be known as "the list."

- Backpack across Europe
- Scuba dive at the Great Barrier Reef
- Attend the 2010 World Cup in South Africa
- Injure a small animal... with my mind!
- Buy my parents a house
- Manage my brother's budding hip-hop career, then free-load off of him
- Rob a convenient store
- See Superman Returns (already have my ticket for opening night)
- Work for ESPN
- Own a professional sports franchise (preferrably soccer or basketball)
- Write, direct, and star in a teen comedy motion picture about a girl in high school who discovers she's pretty when the most popular guy at school (me, duh) takes off her glasses: She's The One 2: Electric Super Jew
- Perform stand up
- Take cooking classes (you know, for the morning after... AM I RIGHT, GUYS?!?! HUH?? HUH?!)
- Amend the Constitution so that I (a naturalized citizen) can become President of the United States. Then immediately resign upon being sworn into office.
- Raise a family
- When on my death bed, tell a slew of dead baby jokes.

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