King for a lifetime, fool for a... lifetime...

You'll never comprehend the true meaning of "a wasted life" (I write, fully aware that this is a stupid blog) until you read about how this guy expired. Can you imagine a more pathetic way to leave this world?

"Hey, did you hear about Ching Ling? ... Yeah, he's dead, man... Fucking internet video games did him in... I know, right, such a douchebag..."

McDonald's can make you sick. Who knew? A cop eating at McDonald's can put you in jail! So many questions raised here. For starters, why the hell would you admit to a police officer that you dumped salt all over his burger? That's "Eluding the Popo 101." C'mon. But as the employee asks, why the hell did the cop eat the whole thing? This might be the funniest explanation an employer ever hears when interviewing someone with a police record.

Jenna Fischer: Single. And yes, I surely have a chance. It'll happen, you just watch. No, I will not raid my neighbor's roofie cabinet. I do think it's funny, by the way, that, in their statement, Fischer and the dude she doesn't bang anymore actually bothered to address their Myspace fans. Wow, really? Them? Egg?

Completely unrelated, this is something I've never given any real thought to in the past, but for some reason, I just can't imagine a world without Pavarotti. There's something just not right about it. I remember since age 9, seeing those special TV offers for the three tenors and best-of Pavarotti sets while vegging out in front of the tube during summer vacation (and to escape the hellish Arizona sun). The big guy has always been there. R.I.P.